I’m happily remarried, but am haunted by my ex’s long-ago betrayal | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

Your first husband robbed you of a lot, and you have some mourning to do. But there seems to be a part of you that thinks you don’t deserve happiness

• Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a family-related problem sent in by a reader

I met my ex in our last year of high school. After a year of university we married when we were only 18. The first 10 years were rocky, with many family crises that put stress on our relationship, and at one point I left my husband. We reunited within a few months and changed our attitudes and goals. From then on I vowed to accept and find the good. We were married for 25 years, through his many infidelities and my anxieties. We didn’t have any children because he didn’t want to be a father. Finally, there was a mistress he wouldn’t set aside, and after three years I gave him an ultimatum, as gently as I could. He chose her, and divorced me. Some of the most painful words I have ever heard were: “You are a wonderful wife, beautiful and brilliant, but I don’t want you. And you deserve better than this.”

I remarried 13 years later and for 23 years have been wife to a fine man. But he is emotionally distant, while I am emotionally overflowing. I relive my first husband’s betrayal in my dreams nearly every night. In my nightmares, I am frightened when he appears and feel under his control. I wake up full of fear. Continue reading…
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Private Programs Provide Access to Birth Control. They Can Also Deprive Women of Choice

Private programs can help women access birth control, but sometimes push women into a specific method of contraception
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Can mindfulness really make you happy, lower your blood pressure and improve your sleep? Experts reveal all

Mindfulness is said to help everything from anxiety to overeating. But how does it work? Experts separate fact from fiction

FALSE “Mindfulness is the opposite of ‘emptying the mind’; it is fully immersing the mind in precisely what you are doing,” says neuroscientist TJ Power. “If you were eating a banana mindfully, 100% of your awareness would be focused on the taste and experience.” Continue reading…
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Long Dismissed, Chronic Lyme Disease Is Finally Getting Its Moment

Researchers are racing to understand the condition following a surge of interest in Long COVID.
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A Teen Died of Too Much Chile After Eating a Spicy Chip, Autopsy Says

The Massachusetts teen had a congenital heart defect and died after eating a Paqui chip, which comes in a coffin-shaped box.
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Genetics Played Role in Rare Blood Clots Linked to COVID-19 Vaccines, Researchers Find

Rare but deadly blood clots tied to J&J and AstraZeneca’s vaccines were caused by an autoimmune reaction that some people are predisposed to, researchers found.
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The Rats Are Absolutely Going to Hate This New York City Summit

Mayor Eric Adams announced Wednesday that the city will invite experts to share strategies on rodent mitigation.
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My first time at a sound bath: ‘As the music becomes louder, my first thought is, “Danger, danger”’

In her fortnightly review of fitness and wellbeing activities, comedian Jennifer Wong comes for a session of gentle meditative yoga – and stays for the crystal singing bowls

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The Sydney gym I arrive at describes a sound bath as a practice that “offers you space to nap without guilt”. Despite already being one to nap with a clean conscience, I arrive for a 45-minute session on a Monday night, keen to experience a gentle yoga session with vibrations from crystal singing bowls.

In a soothing voice, Nissa the instructor advises those who are sensitive to sound to make their way to the back of the room. It’s time to make a sound decision and I decide to park myself right in front of her U-shape of seven bowls to feel the maximum impact of the vibrations. Continue reading…
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Cash incentives may help men lose weight, research finds

Men with obesity offered incentives and sent healthy-eating tips in Game of Stones trial found to have lost most weight

Financial incentives of up to £400 alongside text messages could encourage men living with obesity to lose weight, research has found.

The research, known as Game of Stones and presented at the European Congress of Obesity, involved a year-long trial involving 585 men living with obesity from Belfast, Bristol and Glasgow. Continue reading…
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A moment that changed me: I survived a terror attack – and found healing through a choir

After escaping the deadly attack at the Manchester Arena with my son, I suffered with survivors’ guilt. So I decided to do something positive to help

The first time the Manchester Survivors Choir sang together – eight months on from the arena bombing in 2017 – it was very emotional. I remember thinking how beautiful we sounded. About 18 of us had come together at a church in the city to sing together – all of us had been impacted by the bombing. It felt very special, as though we were all connected. We were a varied group – there were people like me who had been there on the night and had tried (and failed) to get back on with normal life. Others had been injured or lost loved ones. Singing together felt a bit like mindfulness, something to focus on. It gave us all an opportunity to meet other people and feel as if we were doing something positive.

On 22 May 2017, I had taken my then 10-year-old son Jake to see Ariana Grande. It was his first concert, and it was fantastic. I didn’t hear the bomb go off – the suicide bomber detonated it in the main foyer area, and we were leaving by a different exit. I realised something was wrong when people started screaming and running. Even then, my mind didn’t go to a terrorist attack; people were saying maybe a speaker had exploded. Continue reading…
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